I added some new links on the links page (under favorites)of this blog. Looks like some of the insane cycling posse also have blogs. Check them out.
My cube at work
I must set the record straight. I have a great job. I should love my job. I get to work on a Mac, my platform of choice, and create graphics, photography and video. I get paid well and have good benefits. In this day and age I should be happy and shut up about it.
So what’s my problem (besides never being able to keep up with Matt on a long ride)? I dislike the circumstances. I have had many jobs and a few careers in my short life. I have never found that perfect fit. Yes, I realize many of you hate your jobs and they suck way worse than mine and I sound like a cry baby. So what are YOU waiting for?
We all have choices. The life you want is out there, if you are willing to make the sacrifices to get there. Sometimes those sacrifices may be too great, but usually it is US that isn’t great enough to suck it up and make the necessary sacrifices to change our lives. Live without TV, internet, gasoline, new clothes? I have been on photographic trips with mission organizations and have witnessed first hand families with nothing for material possessions living very simple lives. Were they miserable? No. In fact, they seemed happier in those circumstances than most Americans I know with much.
Thinking of people with less and people with really tough jobs, does make me feel like a cry baby. But the feeling I have inside, sometimes physical, on Sunday evenings thinking of work the next day, is very real. I know in my heart that there is something for me to do here, and this isn’t it. Let me give you some history. Maybe you can relate. And you youngsters in the insane cycling posse, maybe I can impart some wisdom (OMG, did I just become an adult? No it will pass).
Disclaimer: I believe life is a journey and there are no mistakes, just choices. When I say mistake, it is just to say, if I could do it all again (which I can’t because that would cause a rip in the time-space continuum, butterfly effects, and who knows what else) I would make different choices. Thank God I can’t go back. In my infinite wisdom, I am sure I would screw things up bad if I went back.
I went straight to college. That was a “mistake.” I should have taken some time off. I should ridden a bike across America and Europe. I should have gotten some real experience while I had no commitments and really gotten to know myself. The problem was I didn’t know myself, didn’t realize the power of a bicycle and didn’t have my own mindset yet. I was still a drone, living to the expectations of society and my family. I am completely OK with my kids doing something at this time in their lives after high school they are passionate about. As we grow older and gain more commitments, this becomes very difficult to do and one may end up in a job that seems like prison. I want my kids to realize that they can do anything, seriously anything they want to at this age. They don’t need to follow everyone else to a school. Maybe there is a great idea inside them that they should put their energy towards instead of learning all the names and functions of the cell in College Biology.
I just got done typing a long, boring description of the path from college to here. Then I deleted it, because no one cares. Here is the nutshell version.
Photographer (paid for college in a darkroom)
High school science teacher (2 schools, 3 years)
Graphic designer and photographer
Car salesman
Manager of a photo lab
Owner of a portrait and wedding studio
Nuclear chemistry technician
Media specialist of a nuclear energy company
More than one person has called me a renaissance man and was impressed at that convoluted path of jobs. My wife wasn’t so impressed and it caused some marital problems.
So if you are still reading, all that was to say that now at 37 years old, I have a better idea of who I am and what I want to do. I am glad I have been such a screw up. That crazy path and a few failures has made me who I am and has shown me that I am capable of much. Dealing with failure is priceless in finding yourself. Also, and most importantly, if I hadn’t taken that convoluted path, I would not have met and married the love of my life, the best thing I have ever done. (I wonder if she is still reading. I wonder if anyone is.)
Is it too late for me with three kids still at home, a mortgage and a set lifestyle?
Discovering and feeding my Adventure Monkey by riding a bicycle so many miles has shown me that anything is possible. Am I prepared to make some sacrifices? Is my family? This is definitely something we will be working through. I know for sure that working a job that is full of meaningless busywork and this feeling in the pit of my stomach I have at work has to go. I feel a calling to do more. It’s more than just plain old fashioned job dissatisfaction. It’s a need to make a contribution to this world, a need to be creative, a need to work with a motivated team of like minded individuals, a need to be independent and a desire to be able to have a job that goes hand in hand with a bicycle. Sound impossible? Keep reading this blog. I have faith.
Feed Your Monkey!
–Eric
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